He Ain't Woody, He's My Brother
by MeganKoumori
Summary: Woody and Jessie learn a shocking fact about 'Woody's Roundup.'
1. Chapter 1

1:

* * *

There were two women in Sheriff Woody's life. Two very different women. One was quiet, patient, and wise. For him, she was the perfect person to listen to his problems, or sometimes, just lend a shoulder for him to rest his head on after a hard day. She was more than just a lover. She was one of his best friends.

The other was full of spirit…to say the least. She was a bundle of ADHD-fueled sugar and spice who loved to wrestle her friends to the ground and demand that they wrestle back. Only a certain Space Ranger would oblige.

They both drove Woody crazy, though for very different reasons.

* * *

It was an unusually warm fall day in early October and Bo's sheep had gone missing. Actually, she liked to hide them. It was the perfect excuse to get Woody all to herself.

Out in the hallway, Bo cornered the Cowboy by the plastic powder blue trashcan. He was taller than she was so she playfully tugged his bandana down until their mouths were level. Just how she liked it.

"KISSY KISSY!"

Both Woody and Bo jumped at the voice, crimson color spreading all over their faces. Jessie stood by Andy's bedroom door, doubled over with laughter.

"Jessie will you get out of here!" Woody snapped.

Barely containing a snicker, Jessie turned to go back in the bedroom, giving a playful kick of her heel as she did so. "By the way," she grinned over her shoulder. "Try tiltin' your head! It works great!"

"_Jess…"_ Woody said in a warning voice.

"I'm goin'! I'm goin'!"

As the bedroom door closed once again, Woody sighed. "What _is_ it with her? You'd think she'd give us fifteen minutes alone, but oh no…"

Bo just smiled. "Sweetie, she's just playing! True, it's a little embarrassing…"

"A little?" Woody echoed.

"But," Bo continued as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'd say getting to kiss you is worth it." Woody chuckled nervously. "Now," she said. "About those fifteen minutes…"

As they began to kiss again, Bo inclined her head to the left. _Wow, it really does work…_

* * *

Inside the bedroom, Hamm was looking over Andy's new computer. It was an older model brought home from Mom's work. It had been hooked up to the Internet only yesterday.

Hamm sat on the desk in front of the keyboard. With his piggy feet his typing was clumsy and he kept having to use the backspace key. Soon, Mr. Potato Head joined him. "Seems our Cowboy friend is more popular than we thought," Hamm remarked. "He's got all sorts of fan sites dedicated to him."

Potato Head chortled. "What a bunch of geeks."

Hamm clicked on a link and a MIDI of the 'Woody's Roundup' theme started to play. There was a fan drawn picture of Woody next to the text on the screen:

_"Welcome to the Ultimate 'Woody's Roundup' Fan Page! We all grew up watching the adventures of Jessie, Bullseye, Stinky Pete the Prospector, and of course, our Cowboy Hero Woody! Sadly, the show was taken off the air after only thirteen episodes, but the Roundup Gang lives on in our hearts forever! Feel free to comment on the message board, look at fan art, and even read some fanfics! All dedicated to the 'Rootinest, Tootinest Cowboy in the Wild, Wild, West!'"_

"You mean to tell me," Potato Head said as he read over his shoulder. "That a bunch of forty-something year olds not only make these sites but also draw fan art and write fanfiction? You must be kidding!"

"Looks like there's a trivia section as well!" Hamm clicked on it. As the text popped up, he started to read out loud: _"'Woody's Roundup' premiered on January 12, 1957, the day before the first Frisbee was produced and eight days before President Eisenhower was sworn in for the second time!'"_

"Big deal."

Hamm continued to read. "Uh, Spudster? You might wanna look at this." Potato Head looked at the section Hamm just read. His removable eyes grew large.

"Holy cow!"

"Yeah," said Hamm. "We better print this off!"

* * *

Woody and Bo emerged from the hallway into the bedroom, hand in hand. Jessie was sitting on the floor nearby with Buzz as they played Jacks. Buzz chuckled. "Nice lipstick, Cowboy!"

Jessie put a finger to her mouth. "Nah, I don't think it's really his color! Maybe a nice coral to bring out his eyes…"

The Cowboy turned red as he quickly wiped the lipstick off his mouth.

Hamm and Mr. Potato Head joined them. Potato Head was holding a piece of paper in his hands. "Well, well, if it ain't Mr. Popular himself!" Said Potato Head. Bo fixed him with a cold glare.

"We've been looking at some 'Woody's Roundup' trivia on the computer," said Hamm. "And we've found…"

"TRIVIA!" Jessie shouted, jumping up. "Oh boy, lemme see! Lemme see!" She tried to grab the paper but Woody pushed her aside.

"Let me see that!" He instructed, taking the sheet and beginning to read. "Hey, we premiered the day before the first Frisbee!"

"Read lower, Cowboy." Said Potato Head. "Last paragraph."

"Hmmm…" Woody started to read aloud. _"'Though it was never stated on the show, it was always intended by the creators that Woody and Jessie be…'" _His voice trailed off. "Oh my gosh." He whispered.

"What?" Jessie demanded. "What? Spit it out!" Woody just stared at the paper, stunned. He looked at her, his brown eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "Come on! Tell me!"

"We're…"

"We're WHAT?" Jessie yelled. Buzz and Bo stood close by. They exchanged concerned looks.

"We're…" said Woody slowly. "Brother and sister."


	2. Chapter 2

2:

* * *

There was stunned silence. Then Jessie screeched, _"WHAT?"_

Woody held the paper out for her. "Take a look at what it says! Right here! We're brother and sister!"

Jessie looked shocked. "You're my brother?" She got very close and peered into his face. "I don't see any family resemblance."

"Your breath stinks." Woody said flatly. Jessie punched him in the shoulder. "Ow!"

"So let get this straight," interrupted Buzz. "You two are _related?"_

"Well apparently!"

Buzz breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank Neptune!" He said with a grin. "I don't have to worry about you two ever falling in love!"

"Ew!" Said Jessie with a grimace.

"Ain't ever gonna happen, Lightyear!" Woody said with a scowl. "Related or not!"

Jessie pondered for a moment. "Wait, I don't recall ever hearin' 'bout this, and Al had every piece of 'Roundup' stuff known to man!"

Woody shrugged. "It says it was never stated in the show. Why would it be on the merchandise?"

"Yeah…" Jessie was quiet a moment. Then she grinned. "Well then, put 'er there, Bro!"

"Oh no! Don't!" Jessie grabbed him for a tight bear hug. "Put me down!" Breaking away, he looked at Bo. "Well, you've been very quiet," he remarked. "What do you think?"

"Yeah," said Potato Head. "What does the Princess think?"

"Don't call me that," Bo said tersely. To Woody, she replied, "It doesn't really surprise me. You two act like brother and sister anyway."

Jessie wasn't listening. Instead, she was shimmying and singing, _"…Someone to fool us, someone like you! We want you Big Brother, Big Brother_!" Then in a high falsetto,_ "I know you're awful square…But you made everyone and you've been everywhere…"_

"Excuse me," Woody interrupted with a frown. "The line is 'You _think_ you're awful square!'"

Jessie didn't stop shimmying. "Eh, more accurate my way!" Woody scowled. Suddenly, Jessie grabbed Buzz. "You know what this means? It means Bulleye's officially half mine!"

"He is not!" Woody protested.

Jessie ignored him. "C'mon Partner! Let's go tell him the great news!" As they watched Jessie drag the Ranger away, Woody sighed mentally.

_Brother…_


	3. Chapter 3

3:

* * *

It was sometime later that Woody and Buzz took a walk together. "It's kind of weird thinking of you as a brother."

"I am _not _a brother!" Woody objected in an irritated tone. "Just because some website says so doesn't make it true! Jessie's not really my sister!"

"Well, maybe not in the biological sense…"

"Not in any sense!" Woody stopped walking. "Look, how can Jessie be my sister? Besides the obvious, she's hyper, loud, completely manic and when she's not those things she's off in some grumpy funk! She drives me insane…What? What are you smiling about?"

"Sounds like a sister to me." Said Buzz.

"Well, she's not!" The two resumed their walk.

"Actually," Buzz said. "There's something I wanted to ask you."

"Hmm, what's that, Buzz?"

"Can I have your permission to take Jessie out tonight?"

Once again, Woody stopped walking. "What? What you need my permission for? You and Jessie have gone out lots of times!"

"I know," replied Buzz. "But according to the rules of courtship, in order to take a girl out, I need the consent of a father or closest male guardian. Now that I know she has one, that means I have to ask you, seeing that you're now her brother…"

"I AM not!"Woody protested loudly. "And anyway, stop talking nonsense! You two are both adults! You certainly don't need me to give approval! Take her to watch a movie tonight! Heck, take her to Bermuda on Christmas! It's not my job to baby-sit you!"

Buzz was silent. Woody gave a sigh. He knew Buzz, being a stickler for rules and traditions, wouldn't let this go. "All right, all right," the Cowboy said, rubbing his brow. "Have her back by midnight."

"_Midnight?"_ Buzz protested. "Are you crazy? She's a grown woman! What are you, her parole officer?" He ducked as Woody growled and tried to whack him with his hat.

"Are you beatin' up on my Space Toy?" Said a voice. Woody put his hat on his head as Buzz skedaddled. Jessie smirked. "Gee, _Brother,_ I hope you're not tryin' to scare off my boyfriend!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Aw, lighten up!" Jessie held up her fist as if she was going to hit him and Woody winced. Instead she laughed and gave him two light pops on the arm. "Two for flinching!"

Woody tried his best to look irritated but the sound of her giggles melted away any aggravation. Instead, to his surprise, he found himself smiling too. Smiling and…was he chuckling?

Suddenly, he didn't know why he hadn't wanted Jessie as a sister. True she could be a bit of a pest when she was riled up, but it wasn't all bad. Actually, sometimes she was even funny.

He began to think about the first time they'd met at Al's office. She had gotten right in his face and screamed, then picked him up and swung him around like a yo-yo. Yes, he'd been startled (and frankly a little scared), but wasn't it only because she was so happy to finally meet him?

And what about since then? She'd become Bo's first and best female friend, and had turned Buzz from stiff necked Space Ranger into a pile of mush within moments of meeting him. Andy too had taken a shine to the Cowgirl. He and Molly had both fallen in love with her without a moment's hesitation.

Andy's room had always seemed like a paradise to Woody (Even more so since those two days in Sid's room), but now it seemed livelier. And happier too. Without Jessie and her endless enthusiasm, Woody slowly realized, there would be a big hole in all of their lives. She had changed things…for the better.

Jessie snapped her fingers in front of Woody's face. "Yo, where'd you go, Sherriff?" She questioned.

Woody shook his head. "Nowhere," he said quickly. Then he smiled fondly. "You know...it might be interesting to have a sister."

Upon hearing his words, Jessie beamed like a street lamp. "Gosh, you really mean it?"

"Yeah," Woody said. "I guess I do."

"YIPPY SKIPPY!" Jessie shouted as she began to bounce up and down. She grabbed Woody by the vest. "Hey! Hey! Guess what?"

"What?"

"We should make it official! Like a ceremony or somethin'!" She cried. "We can invite all our friends and have trumpets and fanfare and then Princess Leia will give us medals…"

"Or…" Woody interrupted gently. "We could sign a piece of paper stating that we're brother and sister."

"Yeah, I like that too!" She grinned. "Can we still have medals?"

"Sure Jess," said Woody, slinging an arm around her. "Why not?" The Cowgirl tried to growl like a Wookie, and he laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

4:

* * *

In front of the computer, Woody finished typing and clicked on the print button. As the machine whirred and clicked, Hamm stood nearby. "So you two are having a ceremony?"

"Yeah," said Woody, not taking his eyes off the printer. "You know, at first I didn't want a sister but now I actually kind of like the idea! Anyway, thanks for finding that trivia, Hamm."

"Yeah, no prob." The paper finished printing and Woody picked it up. He blew on the wet ink as he headed for the edge of the desk.

"Hey Wood," Hamm suddenly called. "There's another piece of paper in the tray!"

Woody had started to climb down. "Not mine," he said. "I only had one page."

As his hat disappeared, Hamm looked over the mysterious sheet. "Hmm, must be the second page of that trivia site." His face fell as he read it. "Oh. Oh no…"

* * *

Jessie stood by Buzz. She was wearing a medal from Andy's Field Day for the third most jumping jacks in the school. As Woody approached, she held up a heavy tee-ball medal Andy had gotten years ago.

"Here you are, Brother!" She said cheerfully, placing it around Woody's neck. He fell to the ground under its weight. "Oops."

Pulling off the award, he let it fall with a clank. "Here," he held up the paper so Jessie could see and began to read to the crowd. _"'From this day forth, October 3__rd__, let it be declared that Sherriff Woody and Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl are henceforth Brother and Sister and shall be known by all as such!'"_

Everyone clapped. Jessie took a pen from Buzz and with a grin, put it to the paper…

"Stop!" Someone cried. "Hold everything!" Hamm waddled through the crowd, a piece of paper rolled up and sticking out of his slot.

"Hamm?" Woody said. "What's going on?"

Hamm stopped in front of them. "There was another page of the Woody's Roundup trivia! It continues!"

Woody pulled the paper from Hamm's slot and unfolded it. "'Though the creators wanted Woody and Jessie to be brother and sister,'" he read to everyone. "'Pressure from the producers and the network caused a last minute change. Officially, Woody and Jessie are…'" As he looked at the rest, his voice dropped. "'Are just good friends. And nothing more.'"

There was an audible _"Awww…"_ from the crowd.

Woody looked at Jessie. She looked crestfallen. "You mean, we're _not _really brother and sister?"

"No, I guess we're not." For a moment, Woody thought Jessie might cry. Then she smiled. It looked forced.

"Well, it's ok. I mean, brothers are a pain anyway, or so I've heard. And you are kind of a nerd, so it all works out."

Woody rubbed the back of his head. "I suppose so…"

"Yeah," said Jessie slowly. "Yeah…" Bullseye trudged sadly behind her and knocked her hat forward. She patted his neck as the horse gave Woody a slurpy lick on the cheek. "Guess we're just friends too, huh Bullseye?" He turned and licked her face comfortingly.

Placing an arm around him, Jessie started to lead the horse away. Woody watched her. He knew Jessie hadn't meant what she said about it working out. She was simply trying to soften the blow.

Woody looked sadly at the two pieces of paper in his hands. One had been a celebration, the other was heartbreaking.

The Cowboy looked back and forth between them. Then he crumpled one up and tossed it over his shoulder.

"Hey Jessie!"

She turned and looked at him. Woody was holding up the declaration. His name was scrawled at the bottom. "You forgot to sign something!"

Jessie was confused as she quickly came back. "But…" she said. "The website says we're not…"

"Forget the website!" Said Woody. "You're my sister, Jessie. You're my sister and…" he stopped. "I guess…I love you."

"_Awww…"_ said the crowd again.

_"YEEEEEEEE-HAH!"_ Jessie hollered happily. She grabbed the paper and pen and wrote her name. "Come here, Brother!"

"Ugh!" Woody tried to pull away as she grabbed him. "Don't hug me! Don't…Oh, what the heck." He let her give him the embrace. As she let go, he held up a fist and she recoiled in surprise. Then the Cowboy cuffed her arm twice. "Two for flinching!"

Jessie laughed. Woody stuck his fingers in his belt loops. "Sure is nice to have a little sister."

"Little?" Jessie echoed. "What do you mean little? I'm the big sister, you're the little brother!"

Bo and Buzz shared a smile as they watched the Cowgirl follow Woody. "Come on now! I think it's fairly obvious that as the more mature of the two, I'm the oldest!"

"Are not, are not!" Jessie argued. "Why do you gotta be so bossy?"

"Why do you have to be such a pain?"


	5. Chapter 5

5:

* * *

It was early evening. Woody was holding a single page torn out from a magazine. It had a flap and a scented strip underneath.

As the Cowboy rubbed some of the scent on his face, Jessie walked behind him. She had been on her way to get a book, but now she stopped and made a face. "Boy do you stink!"

"It's aftershave!" Woody retorted with a roll of his eyes. "I've got a date tonight!"

"So you want it to end early?" Jessie commented wryly.

"Hardy-har-har. By the way, I saved some for you." He handed her the page.

Jessie looked at it. "'Puerto Rican Winds?' You dummy, this is a man's scent!"

"I know." Woody said smugly. "That's why I thought of you."Jessie growled and began to whack him on the back and arm. "Ow! Cut it out!"

"Ahem." The two ragdolls looked over and saw Bo. She slipped her arm through Woody's with a smile. "Are you ready to go?"

Jessie followed them as they walked to the door. "Have him home by ten! Don't do anything I would do! Remember Missy, I've got a shotgun if you get too fresh!"

"_Goodnight _Jessie." Woody said as he closed the door. He sighed and smiled at Bo. "She's my little sister, what can you do?"

Bo smiled and patted his cheek. "And you," she said sweetly. "Are going to be a terrific big brother!"

"I heard that!" Jessie hollered through the door. "I'm the _big _sister!"

Woody and Bo looked at each other and began to laugh. The Cowboy picked his girl up around the waist and swung her around, then kissed her cheek. As he put her back down, Bo hooked his neck with her crook and pulled his lips to hers.

Neither heard the door creak open, nor noticed the Cowgirl with the instant camera, until they heard the click. As they looked her way, she pulled out the photo. "D'aw, it's a Kodak Moment!" She teased.

"Jessie!" Woody hollered. He tried to snatch the photo but she held it out of reach. "What if Andy or Mom finds that?"

Bo walked behind the Cowgirl and took the camera. "Smile you two." She instructed as she took a picture. The photo fell onto the floor.

"Ok, that's enough!" Said Woody. He put the camera back in Jessie's hands and pushed her into the bedroom. "Go play with Buzz!"

Bo took his hand. "Come downstairs, Cowboy," she said coyly. "And you can help me find my sheep."

With a big grin, Woody started to follow, but felt something under his boot. It was the picture Bo had taken. And it had finished developing.

In it, he and Jessie were standing side by side. She had a big smile on her face as she tried to keep the other picture away.

_Huh…_Woody thought with a smile and a shrug. _Aw well. Sisters…_

"Woody, are you coming?"

Woody stuffed the photo into his vest. He could hide it from Andy later. "Coming!"


End file.
